Not so sure of the feelings running through my veins right now, its an odd mixture or relief, sadness, excitement, nervousness and the overwhelming urge to cry. The semester is over, but i find that all i long for is something to not be doing. Weird. I have no papers i should be doing, no tests i should be studying for, and no reading to catch up on. I can literally do nothing, and not be procrastinating. I don't like it. The fact that tonight will be my last night with my current roommates, and im sitting in my apartment all alone probably adds to the restlessness. We will literally never live together again, and i thought i was ok with that, but here i sit, almost crying over it. not a feeling i like too very much. But hey as of RIGHT now, i only have 53 days, 15 hours, 21 min and 30 sec till i am in the place i most wanna be. (yay!)
But its hard to feel the excitement i have felt at its coming, cause all i can feel are the pressings of everything that has to be done in those 53 days.
1.Maymester.
2. VBS.
3.Internship details.
4.Raising the rest of my money to get there.
5. Buying all the stuff i must buy.
6. Moving out of this apartment.
7. Bring prpoerly excited about this wonderful trip coming.
8. enjoying life.
9. praise team.
10. adjusting to living somewhere else.
Did i mention that one of the things i HATE most in life is changing beds? I can sleep in the most horrible bed night after night and i am ok with it, but the minute i have to sleep somewhere else i suddenly cant sleep. I dont care if its my bed at home or my bed at school, i never sleep that first night back. Weird i know, but i like sleeping in the same place every night. ( i think this is one of the reasons i was not always eager for sleep overs as a kid) SO the idea of moving freaks me out.
Did i mention that i am also feeling a bit of randomness? (must have something to do with the restlessness)
Have i ever mentioned my fear of being alone? I get very anxious and i am unable to sleep. NOt good for a person who will be staying in an apartment by herself quite a bit here in a little while... :|
